If your life was a book and each day a page what would your life convey to the world? Sometimes I feel like this chapter in my life would be titled the monotonous mundanes (and no this is not a form of reacquiring diarrhea) Life just seems like a repeat of the day before and no big surprises. I feel like God has me in this place to remind me of what its all about. We can get stuck in these trends of rinse and repeat days or we can choose to seek God and make him apart of these days. I am learning that the longer I go with out God the less life there is in living. There always seems to be a deep seeded hunger that comes out in a person when they have put God on the back burner or have become so tired and weary that they lose sight of what they were working for.
For me the past 6 months have been a real rollercoaster as i have had to face many challenges and plans that i have made be forced to a different direction. Having to adjust to different situations and struggles. Often not ending up on top and living in the victory God has given but cowering in defeat. That is sometimes the place God wants us! WHAT GOD WANTS US TO COWER!?!?!? YES! Sometimes to reach a place of defeat and lowliness is the only way for us to truly lower our wall, pride, insecurities, our agendas and truly let God step in and work his truth and direction in.
I am still learning and having to be the one to beat my head against the rocks and try things my way i am learning that isnt always smart. But I feel that this chapter in my life where i had to battle through many things (still am) has come to an end and I feel like the beginning of a new chapter, is about to start in my life. One of seclusion and intimacy with my maker. My heart has been aching recently as the stress of doing it my way has been building up. And as I have been becoming aware of my state of thinking and how my way though it may be good isn't as good as the fathers way. i realize that God wants me. and I have to make room for him in my busy life.
So I choose to write a new chapter today page 1 is now and how I decide to live love and serve those around me.